


My Wendy

by screwingissuchabore



Category: Blur
Genre: Gramon, M/M, blur - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screwingissuchabore/pseuds/screwingissuchabore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Damon and Graham are kids, they find a hole in Damon's garden that leads them to a new world. It was all fun and games until Graham told his parents about 'Neverland'.<br/>Now Graham and Damon haven't even seen each other for years, and when Damon is moved to Graham's high school, all matters of hell let loose ;-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Neverland

**Author's Note:**

> -Damon might just end up cross-dressing and listening to the Spice Girls, but I haven't got there yet...  
> -Mostly Damon being a bit of a dick to Graham, teasing him and -hey- there most probably will be some sexy time, so hold your horses.  
> -Damon won't accept the fact he's gay for most of the fic but, really, he is, so don't worry.
> 
> Feedback would be great; good or bad, so maybe inbox me on tumblr or something if you have the time c:
> 
> Also, each chapter is really short, so don't be afraid of the amount of them.

“What is it?” the younger of the two questioned in a timid voice. The older boy grinned and looked him in the eye. “In there is loads of really, really cool stuff. I dunno how to explain it…it’s like another world!”   
The seven-year old crouched down and looked inside it. “Looks really muddy.” He stated.   
“Yeah, it does, but it’s not when you go in there…Anyway, your hair looks muddy.” The nine-year old replied, cheekily.  
Graham turned to look at Damon and frowned, scratching his head. “No it doesn’t! My hair is just brown, it isn’t muddy. You’re silly.”   
“It dooooes! You’re the silly one, Graham, for not going in there. It’s amazing…” Damon whispered, looking down into the little hole that was dug out in the grass.  
“I’m not silly, I’m clever; I could fall if I went down there and break my glasses.” He nodded to himself, proud of his sensible behaviour. Being the younger one, you’d think he was more adventurous and fun, but it turned out that Damon was those things, not Graham.  
Damon sighed exaggeratedly and stated; “Well who cares if I’m silly, I’m going down there. Are you coming with me or not?”  
Graham thought a little, biting his lip, and then chose to give in – he wasn’t good when he was put under pressure. “Okay, but you have to go first.”  
“Uh-huh!” Damon replied, a little too enthusiastic for Graham to feel comfortable with.   
He got down onto all fours and crawled into the hole. At first, Graham could see Damon going further and further in, but as soon as his feet were out of view, the rest of him was – including his shadow. Graham, worried, shook a little, then hurriedly got onto all fours too and followed his friend.   
It was dark down there, which put Graham into a slight panicky state for a few seconds, but as he saw a small circle of light in the distance, he knew that he wouldn’t be stuck in darkness for a lot longer – not only that, but there was no Damon in front of the light to block it, meaning Damon must’ve already crawled out.   
Sure enough, he made his way out to the other side, and abruptly stood up, wiping his eyes.  
He gasped.  
Damon hadn’t lied – it was like another world. Graham turned around to see Damon staring over at the tide drawing in and out. They were on a beach; but it was strange, because this beach was hot, and had golden sand and bright blue waves, quite unlike any beaches Graham had visited in Britain.  
He didn’t for one moment believe that he was still in Britain, by any means, but being young and fairly careless, he didn’t question it much.  
“Wow…” Graham mumbled. “This is…this is weird.”  
Damon shot another smile at his friend and looked back at the beach, proud of his discovery. “Yeah…it’s like a book I read…you know, Peter Pan? It’s like Neverland…”  
“There aren’t any pirates here, though…or lost boys…or Wendy…or even Peter!” Graham complained.  
“Fine then – I’ll be Peter, and you can be Wendy…My Wendy.” Damon announced.  
“What?! But I’m not even a girl! And you can’t fly either.”   
Damon jumped up into the sky, trying his hardest to get anywhere near to a hover, but obviously failed. “Well…well whatever! You’re my boy-Wendy and I’m a Peter that can’t fly, okay?”  
Graham giggled. “Alright…but this doesn’t mean I have to wear a dress, does it?”  
Damon stared back at his friend and laughed. “No. You’re pretty enough anyways.”   
Graham made a puzzled expression. “I’m not pretty!”  
Damon leant forward and kissed Graham’s forehead. “Yes you are. Now sh, we’ve got to go and find some lost boys!”


	2. Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is mentioned for the first time now. ^u^

Graham was sat alone in his room, crying. Being fourteen and hormonal was bad enough, but having dreams like this made him feel so many different feelings, he would just sob.  
Feelings of nostalgia, loneliness, angriness and questioning whether or not you once had a mental health problem didn’t exactly mix. In fact, they didn’t mix at all.  
Another dream of him and Damon, going to Neverland…The dreams were all so vivid, too, it scared him a little.  
He held his head in his hands and sighed. If he ever saw Damon again, he didn’t know what he might do – probably throw up, faint and scream at the same time (if that was humanly possible).   
Being separated for the first few months for Graham was agony; he missed his friend and the place he’d shown him, and didn’t understand why he couldn’t see either of them anymore – all they did was make him happy! However, after a few years of maturing and attempting to forget everything about Damon, he realised why his parents had separated them and preferred not to think about it anymore.  
Yes, it was a little peculiar that his parents assumed he might be ‘crazy’ and that Damon was bringing it out in him; Graham was only seven! Seven year olds do believe a lot of what they’re told – but he decided that his parents were only trying to care for him by making sure he never saw Damon again, right?  
He ended up resenting Damon and feeling rather glad that he’d never have to see him again – all he brought to him was months and months of therapy, and a few days of happiness in ‘Neverland’. He was sure he didn’t really deserve it.  
Graham stood up, and made his way back to his bed. The sheets were all screwed up and the pillows scrunched; not only that, but Graham’s teeth were hurting – he’d grind them in his sleep when he was nervous or excited.   
He chose to take his mind off his dream and smiled – he looked forward to lying back down in bed again; it gave him a great sense of comfort, not only because it was just comfortable, but because, for whatever reason, he felt safe under those same old sheets…maybe that was why; he knew them so well and they never really changed (appearance wise, the boy was hygienic).   
He didn’t look forward to the upcoming day, though. School. Fine, Alex was all right, but a part from that, he had no friends. Dave was nice to him, but he wouldn’t ever choose to hang out with Graham, maybe just go over to him if he was alone. That’s the only thing he really missed…having a proper friend - not someone who was ‘all right’.  
He liked Alex, but that was it, unfortunately…


	3. The New Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon's not in this chapter. Sorry.
> 
> Just Alex and Graham talking a lot~

“Graham! Bonjour!” Alex called, with a wide smile on his face. Alex was always smiling, which was comforting for Graham in the sense that he had someone who was always happy…It freaked some people out, but Graham was used to it.  
Graham waved at him. Sometimes, Alex really did look a state – other times, he looked like a model…It was strange how he could pull both of those appearances off.  
That day, he looked like a model; his dark fringe hanging in front of his small, dark eyes, white teeth, rather pink lips and pale-ish skin.   
“You got lipstick on?” Graham inquired as he walked up to meet him, smirking slightly.  
“Uhh…” Alex moaned, rubbing his mouth. “Last night my sister attacked me with her bloody make up kit because ‘she needs to practice’ and I’m her ‘hamster’. You’re lucky you’re an only child.”  
“It’s guinea-pig, Alex. They test stuff on guinea-pigs, and no I’m not, you wouldn’t believe how boring home is.” Graham mumbled.  
“Pffft. Siblings are over-rated if you ask me. I’d rather a lifetime supply of cheese than sisters.” Alex replied, laughing.  
Graham rolled his eyes. He had no idea why Alex was so obsessed with cheese, and he probably never would, considering Alex didn’t even know why himself. He also had no intention of becoming some psychiatrist so that he could work it out for himself, so he just dealt with the fact he’d never know.  
“OOO, GRAHAM, I NEARLY FORGOT!” his friend exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders.  
Graham’s eyes widened, surprised by the sudden act of his friend.  
“Ugh? What?!” Graham said.  
“There’s gonna be some new kid coming in soon! I hear he’ll be here tomorrow, but we don’t know.” He answered, grinning.  
“Oh…I thought it was going to be something actually interesting.” Graham groaned. “Who told you, Jamie? You know Jamie can be a bit of a bull-shitter.”  
“Nooo, Dave did, so it is true. We could make a new fwiend, Graham!” Yes, Alex really did say it like that – jokingly, of course, but regardless, he did.  
Graham sighed, and then let out a low laugh. “Right, because whoever it is will choose to hang out with the likes of us.”  
Alex frowned and tilted his head. “Why’d you say that, Gra? We’ re cool beyond belief.”  
Graham thought his friend was being serious; until he saw the corners of Alex’s mouth turn up and form a smile.  
“Oh, shuddit.”  
“Why? You’re so pessimistic Graham, I wonder how it feels to be you.” Alex said, nudging him with his elbow.  
“Yeah? Well I wonder how it feels to be so cheery and excitable all the time.” Graham taunted, smiling at his friend.  
Rarely did Alex get offended by Graham’s jokes, which was lucky for Graham, because if he was like everyone else at the school and actually got hurt by his sense of humour, then he’d have no friends at all.  
At the start of their high school years, no one would’ve put Graham and Alex together – Alex was fairly popular and wouldn’t speak to anyone who seemed ‘geekish’ like Graham, but after a while Alex came to terms with the facts, and realised that he was the biggest ‘geek’ you could find, being in top set for all subjects and actually trying in school, which, of course, was considered lame beyond all means.  
Graham didn’t really try at being friends with anyone, more so he waited for someone to befriend him. Luckily, Alex did, but in most cases, Graham would have stayed waiting for the rest of his school years.  
Graham didn’t really realise how lucky he was to actually have Alex, but Alex knew that one day he’d appreciate his existence, and the fact that his ‘existence’ went along and chose to be his friend.  
That day was a bore for Graham. The same old ‘go to lesson, see Alex, go to lesson, have lunch, and go to fucking lesson’.   
He shared most lessons with Alex but he didn’t speak to him during them – he’d sit and stare off into space, thinking probably way to deeply about things. That day he thought of mass-production. No reason. That was just what he ended up questioning and that was that.  
At lunchtime, Graham and Alex spoke about what they wanted to do when they were older and the future as a whole.  
Alex wanted to make cheese, which apparently his parents disagreed with and said ‘it’d be a waste of his intelligence’. His argument was ‘how many people do you find who want to make cheese? And how many people do you find who want to buy cheese? WE NEED CHEESEMAKERS’.  
Graham thought it was weird, but then Alex was pretty weird. Graham spoke of how he wanted to play guitar in a band and paint or anything along those lines.  
“Oh yeah, that reminds me!” Alex said. “Look what I’ve got!”  
Alex took a slip out of his bag and passed it over to Graham who was munching away at a jam sandwich silently.  
He looked at it. “Bass lessons…Alex, you’re gonna learn bass?”   
Alex nodded happily, somewhat proud of himself. “Yeah! Don’t you think it’s awesome, Graham? We could totally play together - form a band! Maybe we could bag some groupies as well…”   
“Uh, no. I’m gonna go solo, but thanks. It’s great you’re gonna learn bass though.” Graham lied – he wasn’t fond of the idea of being in a band with Alex, nor with the idea of ‘bagging groupies’ with him; if he was going to do either, he wouldn’t with Alex.  
“You selfish bastard.” Alex replied, looking at his friend and smiling.   
The last few hours of the day skipped by, and before Graham knew it, he was back at home, strumming away on guitar.  
Really, he should’ve been doing homework, but who the fuck cares about priorities when there is other stuff out there that doesn’t need to be done? Not Graham Coxon.  
He was looking forward to bed - in fact, he’d been looking forward to bed the whole day. He found it was a lot worse when he was in class and had nothing to do a part from think about things, because then he’d start thinking about what he could be doing, then the things he wanted to do, and they seemed so much more appealing when he couldn’t do them.  
Graham’s life at home was pretty average, but he spent most of it upstairs in his room alone. He would read, write, play guitar, draw and, on the rare occasion, do his homework.  
From time to time, Alex would call him and chat about nonsensical topics, then have an urgency to leave, and hang up.   
Graham honestly never understood what went on in Alex’s house – he would always talk of how it was crazy and how his family would annoy him to the bone, but when Graham visited, it was quite quiet and all they did was chat and eat…He assumed it was because he was around that everyone had piped down, but he couldn’t tell whether that was the case, or if Alex was just being over-exaggerative.  
Anyway, Graham did get a call from Alex that night when he was right in the middle of a great riff that he’d been practicing, and he thought he had just got it right, but of course the interruption meant he couldn’t carry it on.  
He groaned as he reached over for his old, silver phone on his bed. Graham was lazy to the point of ‘if you didn’t eat healthily, you’d be obese’, but he didn’t care.   
“Y’ello.” He said, assuming it was Alex.  
“Oi Graham, Dave just told me that the new kid is coming in tomorrow! Apparently he’s a right chav and got kicked out of his last school for beating someone up. Nasty piece of work.” Alex babbled in that deep-voice of his. Graham wondered if his voice would break anytime soon, or if he’d be stuck with this fairly higher voice for the rest of his life. That was something Graham was jealous of: Alex’s deep voice.   
“Yeah, I’m not planning on hanging around with someone who beats up others, are you? And you called Dave?” Graham questioned.  
“Yeah to both. I do wanna ask him why he did it though, I mean, aren’t you interested?”  
“I’m interested in many things,” Graham explained, “but I don’t ask other people about them. Besides, someone will probably start spouting off to others about why it happened and we’ll hear all of the rumours…or at least you definitely will – I didn’t know you were still in contact with Dave.”  
“Mmmm…on and off really. It’s nice to keep in touch, y’know?”  
“Why don’t you do it in school then, stupid?”  
“Because, funnily enough Graham, I’m normally with you.” Alex answered, laughing. “Anyway, I have got to goo…my sister is using me as her hamster again. See ya!”  
And before Graham could correct him, he was gone.  
Weird. He wondered who the boy was for a few minutes, but it didn’t bother him, and why should it? So long as he didn’t end up trying to speak to Graham, he didn’t care.  
To Graham, everyone in the school a part from Alex and Mr Ivan may as well not exist, they meant that little to him. It wasn’t like he hated them, just none of the others made that much of an impact to his life…not that Alex particularly did, but if Alex wasn’t there, then he’d be alone every lunch and break time.  
Mr Ivan was the cool teacher that everybody liked, but not ‘cool’ like that embarrassing teacher that tries to ‘get down with the kids’ and just needs to stop right there because they’re not impressing anyone. No, cool as in everyone likes him because he’s actually caring, seems to enjoy his job and isn’t a judgemental arse hole, like a lot of teachers can be. Anyway, if you didn’t like him for that, you’d definitely like that he never gave anyone homework. Ever.   
Dave made a slight impact on Graham’s life, but not enough for him to really care if he never saw him again or not.  
All in all, Graham was sure that this new boy wasn’t going to make any impact on his life just as the other hundred or so students/teachers hadn’t, and the funny thing was, he didn’t care one bit.


	4. THE DEVIL CHILD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The caps were necessary, yes.
> 
> DAMON IS IN THIS ONE WOO.

Graham walked into school and sat down opposite Alex at a table. “Heard anything more about him then?” Graham inquired.  
“Nah.” Alex hummed, fairly happily. “I don’t think he’s in our class, though. Shame, I think it would’ve been cool to have someone new in our class.”  
“Why? Not like he’d make much of a difference…maybe just add to the vast amount of ‘annoying’ that remains.”  
“God, Graham. Lighten up – chillax – just take a chill pill, already. You’re really putting me down.” Alex said slowly in a mock-hippy voice. “Oh wait! I tell a lie – I did learn more about him.” Alex remembered.  
“Yeah?”  
“Mhm, his name is Damien I think…isn’t that some kind of devil child name or something? Eh, whatever kind of name it is, it’s gay as fuck. Seriously, who looks at a baby and goes ‘aw, let’s call it Damien’.”  
Graham snorted. “I dunno, someone off their nut.”  
Alex flicked Graham on the shoulder. “I think that’s him there with Dave and that lot.”  
Graham turned his head to look at the big circle and all of the people in it. A bunch of them were crowded around one person, who Graham was suspecting was the new boy.  
“Uh, can’t see him, can I? Bloody people.”  
“Oh shush, they’ll move, just be patient Gra.”  
Graham was patient. You couldn’t not be patient in that school – you had to wait for those extremely slow people in the corridor walking in front of you to get out of your way and more annoying little things like that that were just so frustrating, you wanted to murder everyone with a chainsaw.  
The boys spread out a little, and Graham saw a blonde head…a familiar blonde head? Hm, maybe he was just getting him confused with some other blonde boy he’d seen before…besides, how could a head be familiar? But it was…it was a familiar head. He recognised the shaggy, dirty blonde mess that was considered ‘hair’ on top of it, and not only that, but the shape – it wasn’t as if the shape of the head was anything out of the ordinary, but it was just a head shape that Graham seemed to remember.  
Then the boy turned around. Graham’s jaw dropped as he saw that familiar face. It had changed since he last saw it quite a deal, but despite that, he knew who it was. Big, icy blue eyes, pink lips and just… He was grinning like he always used to. He was a lot more handsome than most boys. Not that Graham was attracted to him; he could still recognise that without fancying him.  
Eye contact…that was the most awful part. The boy hadn’t realised Graham was looking at him at first, but after a couple of seconds of looking back, and then realising he knew Graham and when the ‘for fuck’s sake it’s him!’ moment he kicked in, Graham was getting up and out of his seat.  
His hearing was blocked for that moment of time, so anything Alex had said was pretty much muted out, but all of a sudden, Graham heard his own breathing and his heart beating in his head. He whispered to himself the name that Alex had got wrong, and the one that he’d been trying to forget for the previous years of his life.  
Damon. It was Damon.  
Damon began to wave, and tried to make his way over to Graham quickly, but Graham was literally running away to the library. He didn’t want to say hello to Damon. He didn’t even want to look at Damon…  
Damon had caused enough problems before, and he wouldn’t let him cause anymore.


	5. Library Hermit

“You know, Graham, hiding in the library isn’t going to solve any of your problems.” Alex said, sitting down next to his friend who was curled up underneath a bookshelf on the floor.  
“Fuck off.” Graham replied with curtly, hiding his face with a book he had grabbed off of the shelf above him.  
“Nah. I don’t care if I annoy you, I wanna know what’s up!”  
“No you bloody well don’t, now piss off!” he growled.  
Alex tilted his head and looked at Graham. “You’re like a funny little creature – a goblin or sumin’. Will you bite my hand off if I poke you, Graham?”  
“Alex, this all might seem a barrel of laughs for you, but I’m actually feeling pretty terrible, so if you don’t mind not joking about it all?”  
Graham was feeling frantic about the whole Damon situation, but also pretty pissed off at Alex at the same time. He didn’t think he could pull off both of those emotions, but somehow, he was.  
“Yeah, sorry.” Alex muttered. “So…what’s the problem? Is it the new guy? It’s okay to be scared, y’know-“  
“I’m not bloody scared, God…”  
Graham didn’t want Alex speaking to him. In fact, he didn’t want anyone speaking to him. Everyone at that moment could fuck right off.  
Alex moved his head closer to Graham, smirking. “Then why the hell are you hiding under a bookshelf?” he whispered.  
Just then, the both of them heard a voice shout across the library.  
“Oi, you!”  
It was Damon, or as Alex called him, ‘Damien, the devil child’.  
As Damon marched towards him, Alex snatched the book from Graham, shifted one leg up so his arm was resting on it and pretended to be reading, hiding Graham in the process.  
“NO SHOUTING IN THE LIBRARY.” A woman hissed.  
Damon shrugged and sat down next to Alex.  
“You alright mate?” he asked Alex.  
“Uh, yeah. You the new boy?”  
“Yeah. You’re Alex, aren’t you? Don’t you hang ‘round with Graham?”  
Oh God, his voice. It was a lot deeper, and his Essex accent was a lot stronger. Graham knew that his voice was going to have got deeper over the years, but he sounded so different that he would never have put this voice with him even now. Graham brought his knees in even closer to his chest and shivered. He couldn’t let Damon know he was there. He wanted to curl up and rot away and leave no trace on the Earth…Just to be forgotten about forever would be great.  
“A little,” Alex gulped. “Why? Do you know Graham?”  
“What? Oh, no I don’t. Dave just said you two were all right guys.” Damon lied. “Are you reading W.H Auden poems?”  
“I…I guess I am.” Alex checked the back of the book he had open. “Yes, I am.”  
Damon, ignoring the fact that Alex didn’t really know what he was reading, began to enthuse about poetry, while Graham just lay under the shelf and waited. ‘For fucks sake,’ he thought, ‘how bloody long do I have to stay under here before that dickhead leaves?’  
Alex didn’t help much either. He actually began asking Damon questions about the poet, completely forgetting Graham was there.  
Graham gave Alex a little nudge on the leg and quickly brought his hand back to his chest so Damon wouldn’t see him.  
“Uh…” Alex thought of any way in which he could get Damon to leave. “I need to piss, wanna join?”  
He could only think of leaving with Damon – not like he could’ve just asked Damon to leave out of nowhere for no reason.  
Damon laughed. “Yeah, alright then.”  
As Alex and Damon walked off, Alex turned his head and made an expression at Graham, which read something along the lines of ‘I’m really sorry but there was no other way’.  
Graham was annoyed. I mean, he didn’t exactly want Alex to be there in the first place, but in that case he wouldn’t have hidden under the bookshelf. Now he was just under the bookshelf alone, looking like some hermit of a boy who had serious problems. He needed to get out from under there so no one would see him, however this was going to prove a hard challenge.  
As he was about to get out, he saw a boy’s shoes. Well, shit.  
The boy walked around to the front of the bookshelf.  
‘PLEASE DON’T BLOODY CROUCH DOWN’ He thought.  
He crouched down.  
Graham stared at his face. At first the boy didn’t notice, but then he looked down and jumped a little.  
He frowned, his dark eyebrows knitting together.  
“Er, are you Graham Coxon? What the fuck are ya doing down there?”  
It was Liam Gallagher, that pretentious prat who everybody seemed to hate a part from his brother Noel…Well, Noel didn’t seem that fond of him either, actually.  
“I…uh…” Graham mumbled.  
Liam rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Do you want some help up then?”  
Graham nodded meekly, taking a light grip of his hand…pretty nice for such a ‘prat’.  
Liam yanked him up and looked away. “I don’t wanna be in here either to be honest.”  
“Did I ever say I didn’t wanna be in here?” Graham asked.  
Liam stared at him intensely. “Shut up.”  
He then walked off and looked at some other books.  
Graham wasn’t sure whether to chase after him or leave. Where the fuck would he go?  
He ended up leaving, anyway. Liam wasn’t his cup of tea.  
Graham just waited outside of his next lesson, which was French. Alex loved French, Graham didn’t. Hopefully, Damon wouldn't be around Alex when Graham arrived to lesson…


	6. Did I say that out loud?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALEX'S POV. 
> 
> This chapter's just a bit of an odd one tbh but whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I have nothing against the Gallagher brothers, but I thought it'd make it a little interesting if Alex did  
> -Alex and most of his year are fifteen, but Graham's a lil baby so he's fourteen (just in case there was any confusion, and remember, Damon's not in their year okaaay) (◕‿◕)  
> -Alex and Damon will get along eventually...

Graham will be fine…yeah. He’s fine. Graham just moans. He’ll probably find Dave or something. Oh right, yes, I’m in a toilet. I said I was gonna pee. I don’t even need to pee. Damon is looking at me. I think he’s waiting for me to pee. Okay, uh, I’ll just force a little pee out. Oh shit Damon’s gonna pee too. I don’t like peeing with other people. Still, do I have a say in it?  
…I guess not. He’s peeing and I’m not. This is incredibly awkward. I think he’s wondering why I’m not peeing. It feels like I’m being a pervert now, watching him pee. Is he looking at my penis?  
“Are you looking at my penis?” I ask.  
“What? No?”  
Pretend it was a joke. Smile and laugh. Oh, good. He gets it.  
Right, I’m done not peeing. I’ll wash my hands. Wait, does he wash his hands? I’m not gonna if he doesn’t.  
Oh, great, it’s Noel. He annoys me…too manly. Like, we’re fifteen. Well Damon’s not. Damon’s the ‘man’ in this…friendship. Nah, we’re not friends, especially if Graham doesn’t wanna be.  
“Alex!”  
Leave me alone.  
“Alright Noel?” Yeah, keep it simple.  
“Yeah, who’s this? You the new guy? Aren’t you, like, older than us?”  
Oh wow, people are older than you, get a grip. He’s not a paedo.  
Damon’s laughing it off. What? I’d be annoyed. Clearly, him and Noel are gonna be friends. I’ve seen this shit happen before.  
“Yeah. Also got kicked out of my old school for beating someone up, so I think you should shut your mouth.”  
Is he joking? What? Am I friends with a ‘bad ass’?  
Oh wait, no. He’s joking. Fuck’s sake. I hope I’m not gonna be left hanging out with these two for the rest of the day.  
UH, where’s Graham. Won’t he search for me? Actually, he probably won’t. He’s lazy.  
Oh shit, they’re looking at me.  
“Sorry? Did you say something?”  
Funny. Not really, but they’re laughing.  
“YES MATE.”  
God, Damon, that’s my eardrum you’re damaging there. Yeah, I can see why Graham hates him. Well, no he’s alright.  
I prefer Graham’s company.  
“What then?”  
I’m getting slightly irate over this ‘social gathering’ in the bloody toilets. Jesus Christ, I haven’t even washed my hands. Maybe I should do that now.  
“Where’s Graham, your big buddy, gone off to?”  
Oh, shut up Noel. I thought I hated Liam more, but I may be changing my mind now.  
“I don’t know. He’s in a funny mood.”  
“Yeah, ever since I looked at him he’s been missing.” Oh, Damon.  
‘Haha, I could understand why with a face like your’s.’  
“Oh…I said that aloud didn’t I?”  
Now he hates me.  
Oh no wait no? Laughter? Banter? Graham would hate me. Maybe this guy’s all right. Noel’s face is annoying me though.  
I’m not being a dick about it. Noel kicked me out of our group ages ago, but he still thinks he can treat me like a lad. I’m not a lad anyway, I’m a chap. Or I will be someday. I’LL MAKE MY MOTHER PROUD.  
Oh shit they’ve said something again, and I didn’t hear.  
‘Seriously, why are we chatting in a toilet?’  
OH, DONE IT AGAIN.  
“Cos you needed the toilet, mate.” Shut it Damon.  
He’s still laughing. It’s really not that funny. I can’t concentrate.  
Oh shit, Liam’s coming in…might be trouble.  
He’s looked us all up and down. Lovely. The Gallagher charm, that is. He’s peeing. Cool. CAN WE LEAVE?  
Oh, finally I haven’t actually said it aloud.  
What are they laughing about now? Fucks sake.  
‘I wanna find Graham’.  
“Speakin’ of the bugger, he was hidden under a table or a shelf or sumin’ in the library. Bit of a weirdo, your mate.”  
Why do they hate Graham? It’s beyond me – I mean, he’s a bit of an arse sometimes, but most of the time, he’s all right.  
I nod. I’m not talking to him. Liam’s just rude, really. Damon’s staring at me now.  
“Did I say something else I wasn’t meant to? I keep on doing that.”  
“What? Oh, no. Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare, but we were just in the library.”  
Noel’s looking at Damon disapprovingly.  
“The library? Why were you guys hanging in there? Actually, Liam why the fuck were you in there?”  
Well Liam’s gone. I would too, if I was a dick.  
“I dunno, I found him in there.” Damon ‘s pointing at me… ‘Him’ being me in this situation.  
Oh, great thanks for landing me in the shit Damon. Now Noel’s looking at me.  
“Uh, I was looking for Graham. Guess I missed him.”  
“But you were right behind him, weren’t you? How could you lose him?”  
Oh shut up shut up shut up.  
“…Why is it bothering you, Damon? It seems like you know Graham or something.”  
Haha. Feel embarrassed, very embarrassed…I swear they know each other. Well, whatever dark past they have, I’m gonna find out. Just try and stop me.  
Damon’s gone all red now. HAH. Aw, wook at you ikkle Diddums. You’ve gone all weddy wed.  
“Right, well I’ll be off, see you guys later.” Nope, I’m not seeing you later Noel.  
Thanks, but no thanks.  
“Were you listening to anything just then, Alex?”  
Is he actually asking, or joking? I can’t tell.  
“Um…no? I don’t know. Are you asking me seriously?”  
Damon’s smiling. “Course not, mate. Wasn’t that the bell?”  
“Probably. Didn’t hear it. What lesson have you got?”  
“Geography, you?”  
Sucks for him.  
“French.”  
“Ah, cool. Au revoir then.”  
Couldn’t have said that any worse. Aaaand…he’s gone.  
Why am I still in the toilets? Gonna go to lesson now.  
Walking…Oh shit, is that Graham? Was he waiting for me? Ah, fuck. Hope he’s not annoyed. Probably is. Oh well. BONJOUR EVERYBODY.


	7. Light-Headed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long-ass chapter compared to the others, but I'm pretty proud of it c:
> 
> Graham feeling very ill and stuff, poor Gra.
> 
> -I didn't mean to make the 'For Tomorrow' reference with him holding onto the rails and bla, but whatever.

Graham was a lot more twitchy that day than any other day he had experienced at school – at least when he was getting bullied at school, they’d tell him they’re were ‘gonna get him’ at whatever time, but Damon could pop up any moment of the day, and all Graham could do was run…unless there was a large crowd of people in his way, which there normally was at his school…  
Okay, so Damon wasn’t trying to hurt him like the bullies would, but in a way, that’s what scared Graham more. He didn’t know what exactly Damon wanted from him, whereas with them he was sure.  
He also knew that being with Damon would hurt – not only because he hadn’t seen him in a long time, but also because he couldn’t just be friendly with Damon and act like everything was okay with him now. Nothing was right between him and Damon. Maybe Damon wasn’t aware of that, but Graham definitely was.  
Graham had grown to hate him, and he didn’t even feel bad about it. Should he? He didn’t know…the last time he had spent time with Damon led to him having therapy, and Graham felt this was Damon’s fault. Besides, he couldn’t blame himself for it – okay, he didn’t have to tell his parents about Neverland, but he was seven. Seven year olds don’t understand when or when not to shut their mouths sometimes.  
He wouldn’t turn to blaming his parents, either. Yes, they were the ones who chose to take him to therapy, but that was only because they cared for him - maybe Graham being with Damon was a bad idea in the first place, even if Neverland wasn’t real. Damon was hardly a good role model for Graham – he was a ‘naughty boy’. (It was a self-proclaimed thing – Damon was also a nutter) He’d lie and he’d cheat and he’d do things that seemed very bad back then…maybe not as much now, but Graham was also pretty sure that currently Damon got up to nasty stuff.  
Already he knew Damon had beaten someone up – he didn’t know the reason, no, but resorting to violence under a lot of circumstances isn’t the right way to go about things. Not only that, but if it was just a silly situation at school, Damon could count himself bloody lucky. Graham felt as if he’d been under enough pressure already at school with name-calling and rudeness. Couldn’t Damon just control himself?  
Was Graham scared of Damon? Okay, maybe he was slightly, but he wasn’t going to say so to Alex. He knew Alex wouldn’t judge him on it, but it’d still be an embarrassment to tell him. Graham couldn’t deal with confessing such things and the emotion that went along with it…love also scared Graham – he probably never would be able to say ‘I love you’ aloud to anyone. He just got extremely embarrassed on talking about his feelings, and this was why he’d turn to joking about most things. Actually, Graham was scared of a lot of things…he blames Damon. Why not? He could blame Damon for a lot. Besides, no one had to know he blamed Damon for all of this. Damon could be his number one target if it made him feel any better.   
He looked across the classroom and at the clock. He didn’t mind if this lesson went on for the rest of the day; he wasn’t doing any work and was just letting his mind flow. Not only that, but he was bloody comfortable in his chair at that point of time. There was something nice about being sat down in a warm chair – you couldn’t go to sleep, of course, but you could sit there for a long time, just quite content.  
The sad thing was, he knew that the lesson would fly along a lot quicker than he would’ve liked, and he’d be bolting out of the door, and flying to his next lesson, avoiding Damon at all costs.  
Thank God they were in different years, because if Graham had to have lessons with Damon, there was the possibility he’d have a panic attack.  
That wasn’t even an even an exaggeration; Graham suffered badly from anxiety. He wished he could just have a healthy mind, like Justine, for instance, who was sat next to him, drawing flowers in her margin of her French book and colouring in the petals different colours…well, he could see Justine going a bit crazy in the future, maybe. She was silent a lot of the time, and when she was speaking, she was expressing some profound opinion. They were always good opinions that Graham agreed with, however it shocked him a little how so much could go in her mind when most of the time she was so quiet.  
Then Graham thought, ‘hold on, aren’t I like that?’  
Maybe he’d been thinking a little too much…still, he did do that a lot. Alex picked up on it, surprisingly. Sometimes, Alex could have a person completely wrong, whereas other times he’d have you spot on. It’d always be from one extreme to the other with Alex.   
Ah, Alex. Graham was beginning to like the idea of sitting with Alex alone at lunch again without feeling paranoid about a certain someone more than he normally would. That’s it, isn’t it; you only begin to appreciate things once they’ve been taken away from you.  
What if Alex got ‘taken away’?   
No, Graham wasn’t going to think of that. Anyway, Alex liked Graham too much for that. Sure, he stayed with Damon in the toilets, but he had no other choice, right?  
Hopefully he wasn’t talking about Graham with Damon. No, he wouldn’t do that. Alex wasn’t the gossipy type.  
He looked back at the clock.  
Ten minutes until the end of lesson. For once, he wanted those ten minutes to drag. Unfortunately, they didn’t.  
Before he knew it, he was stepping out of the classroom, and hastily making his way to his next lesson, which was English. He assumed that once he’d got there, he could go over to Alex, but he wasn’t going to dawdle along with Alex and let Damon talk to them.  
People. People bloomin’ everywhere. Graham avoided looking at their faces, and dashed past in-between them all. Diving out of the way of those students that had massive rucksacks and pushing the smaller ones out of the way. He wasn’t moving for anyone – people were moving for him, whether they liked it or not.  
He was in the hallway next to the library, which let you go across to the other side of the school. He was halfway there, now. ‘Come on, hurry up.’ He thought to himself…  
Oh no…that wasn’t him, was it? Don’t check just in case he knows that eyes are on him and turns to look back. Look away, Graham, fight the urge. He’s a bastard, why couldn’t he just fuck off and stay out of your life.  
Nearly. Fucking. Past. Him.   
…Right next to him now. He can’t see you, there’s no chance.  
But then...one look back won’t hurt. As if he can do anything now.  
…Shit.  
He did look back. He looked you straight in the eyes and realised it was you. He’s fully aware you realise it’s him, too.  
He’s smiling. Why would he smile? Just go. Get OUT of there.  
Is he gone? He’s gone…  
Graham’s breathing was fast and he could feel his heart pumping in his chest. He did make it past him without fainting, but only just. He turned up outside of his English classroom, and held onto the rails going along wall.  
He leant against the wall and tilted his head back. He was sweating – a lot – and he could feel drops of it stick onto his skin.   
He panted. This was terrible; he was almost trying not to be sick. He rubbed the back of his neck and felt his hair was wet.  
He didn’t think he could bear a lesson feeling this unclean. He knocked on Mr Ivan’s door.  
“Graham? Are you alright?” Mr Ivan asked. He then examined Graham’s flushed face and blinked a couple of times. “Oh lord, Graham you look a state. Do you want to go to medical?”  
Graham couldn’t speak at all, so just nodded.  
“Then by all means, go!” Mr Ivan told Graham, almost wafting him away with his hands.  
Graham gave a weak smile to his teacher, and jogged down the stairs.  
Graham wasn’t sure he wanted to go back home, but he didn’t particularly want to stay in school any longer either. He had felt so uneasy at that moment, he could almost scream.  
His mum would probably pick him up, drop him back home and then tell him he needed to look after himself as she had some ‘important work’ that she needed to get done.  
The fact that both of his parents had full time jobs, and rarely enough time for him made him quite miserable. Still, at least they were doing it to keep everything together, and he could appreciate they worked so hard. He loved his parents, even if he didn’t express it.  
That night, after having a tepid shower to clean off all of the sweat off of his skin, he got into bed and sighed. He hoped he’d have a good dream that night, he really, really did.


	8. ✿Alex James: Not Gay!✿

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham has a weird dream that leaves him feeling a little awkward around Alex...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a slight bit of Damon/Alex in this chapter but not a lot so you're okay non Damon/Alex shippers c:
> 
> Yes, Alex really isn't gay in this...and there was point to that dream. Okay, maybe not a lot, but there was.
> 
> Finally, I will carry on with the rest of that day next chapter or so, because it'll be some long-ass day, I'm telling you ;-)

Graham was in school, but all the walls and floors were black. He didn’t know as to why, they just were. “Alex!” He shouted out, searching for the cheese-lover. Everyone was in his way, once again.  
He then saw his dark-haired friend and waved. “Oi, Alex!”  
People moved out of the way from Alex, and next to him was Damon. Damon was smiling – grinning, in fact. They had been walking together…  
Alex turned to look at Graham and frowned. “What do you want?” Alex asked, as him and Damon neared him.  
They seemed to get so close to Graham to the point that he felt he couldn’t even breathe without them noticing.  
Damon just stared at Graham. “Uh, Alex? W-what are you doing?” Graham stammered, his eyes shooting at Damon and back at Alex.  
Alex laughed. “God, Graham. You’re really stupid, aren’t you?” Graham stared back at Damon. What? Why would Alex say that? “Why would I be friends with you, when I’ve got Damon?”  
Damon put his arm around Alex’s shouldewrs and smiled smugly, still saying nothing.  
Alex and Damon seemed to loom over Graham like they were a great deal taller than him, when, in reality, they weren’t.   
Then Alex did something really strange, and it made Graham feel…well, weird. He turned his head so he was facing Damon. Damon then looked back at Alex, then down and Alex’s lips. They moved in closer to each other, as if they were about to kiss.  
Graham couldn’t move. He didn’t even want to see this happening, he just wanted to shut his eyes and never open them again. Why the fuck were they doing that? Alex wasn’t gay! He didn’t know about Damon, but whatever. Alex was his friend and he didn’t want Damon bloody kissing him.  
Their lips were only a short distance apart. Alex began to shut his eyes and so did Damon. Then their lips touched, and they began kissing, but deeply. Graham even saw Damon’s tongue slip into Alex’s mouth and he shivered. He felt gross – he didn’t care about the fact that they were two guys, but about the fact that these two guys were Alex and Damon.   
‘What the FUCK was going on?’ he thought. He tried his hardest to leave, but he couldn’t - his mind was forcing him not to.  
“STOP.” Graham yelled, but they didn’t. In fact, Damon just began to smile, opening one eye slightly to peek at Graham while he was still snogging Alex.  
Graham was nearly crying out of anger – this was terrible; no one would want to imagine their best friend kissing their enemy, even if either of them were attractive. He shouted it out again from the top of his lungs once more. “STOP.”  
Damon and Alex pulled a part to stop kissing and turned their heads slowly, with blank expressions on their faces.   
Everything shot out of view, including Damon and Alex.   
Suddenly, all Graham could see was white. It was peaceful compared to what he had just seen.  
He focused his eyes a little. He noticed he was staring at his ceiling and…was lying in bed.  
Graham rubbed his eyes roughly. It was a fucking dream. Why the hell would his brain conjure up that image?  
He exhaled and turned on his side to look at the clock.  
His alarm was about to go off in five minutes.  
Instead of staying in bed, he turned his alarm off and stood up.  
His legs were like jelly as he attempted to walk to the bathroom, but he got there in the end.   
He stood in front of his mirror and stared at his reflection. He was red and, once again, sweating.  
He’d never dreamt something so strange and disgusting before. He just didn’t like it one bit…he wasn’t sure exactly why he hated it so much, but he knew it felt wrong.  
He turned the tap on and splashed water over his face. He then noticed it…he had a boner. Fuck.  
He was sure it was because he was nervous – in no fucking way was he turned on by that. It made him feel like his insides were itching and his skin was crawling. It wasn’t a great feeling, to say the least.  
He contemplated on whether or not to wank, but he decided against it. He thought it’d go limp pretty soon anyway, and he would also feel pretty awkward wanking after having such a freaky dream.  
He got dressed and brushed his teeth. Running a hand through his hair, and retrieving his glasses, he was pretty much ready early for school, which normally, he wouldn’t be.  
He decided to call Alex to see if he wanted to walk to school with him.  
At first he thought it through and was fine with the idea of calling him, after all, the whole him and Damon thing had been a dream, there weren’t really any problems between them…but when he was dialling Alex’s number, a pang of anxiety hit him and he was worried at what Alex might say.  
As any other normal person would, Alex answered the phone with a hoarse ‘Hello’.   
“Oh, hi Alex. I…Do you wanna walk to school together?”  
“Hi Graham. Yeah, alright.”  
“Good. I mean, thanks…yeah, sorry. Thanks.”  
“…Graham, are you okay?”  
“Yep. See you in a bit.”  
He hung up. That was pretty fucking awkward.  
He walked downstairs and sat on his sofa, waiting for the doorbell to ring.  
Any moment. Just be calm. Patience.  
‘Ding dong’.  
Graham picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He already had his coat on.  
Opening the door, he was faced with a tired-eyed Alex, who’s hair was blowing about in the wind.  
Alex smiled faintly. “Alright?”  
Graham nodded and stepped outside.  
They hadn’t walked to school together in a while, so it was a bit weird at first – Graham didn’t know what to do with his hands and he felt very nervous about doing anything at all.   
He noticed Alex’s hair was pissing him off as it kept flying everywhere, and Graham could hear him sighing and cursing under his breath.  
Graham shoved his hands in his pockets and asked “So how was the rest of school without me, then?”  
Alex turned to look at him. “Oh yeah, I forgot to ask where you went. Hm, it was okay.”  
“I felt really ill. Who’d you hang around with? Dave? Noel? Damon? Who?”  
Alex stopped and looked at Graham. “Why are you acting so weird? I was with Dave. Are you sure you’re okay Graham? You sounded all funny on the phone – are you still ill?”  
Graham didn’t like it when people thought he wasn’t okay; especially when he wasn’t okay, because what could he say? He’d probably burst into tears midway expressing his feelings, anyway, which would be an embarrassment.  
“I’m fine.”  
They both began walking again.  
“Well, I think I’ll decide that by myself, thank you.” Alex replied.  
There was a long pause. Graham watched as leaves whirled by down the pavement, being pushed along by the wind. It looked pretty, but not as pretty as places he’d seen before…  
Alex stopped again. “Seriously, Gray. What the fuck’s up?”  
Graham stood there and sighed, tilting his head back and letting the breeze mess up his hair.  
“Fuck’s sake.” He let out.   
He waited. Maybe Alex wouldn’t push on about it if he left it for so long.   
Wrong.   
Alex crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.  
“I…I had a weird dream. But can we keep walking?”   
Graham didn’t like eye contact, and when they were both just stood there conversing, not looking into Alex’s eyes would be considered rude, whereas when they were walking, he could be looking at the ground, or his feet.  
“Okay. Hah, cool – was I in it?” Alex chuckled.  
“It’s not ‘cool’ Alex, and yes you bloody well were…you were playing one of the lead roles in it, actually.”  
“Sorry, I’ll try to sound less excited. What was I doing?”  
“Uh…you were…it was weird.”  
“TELL MEEEEE.”  
“Um…Damon was in it too.”  
“Cool, but what was I doing?”  
Graham rolled his eyes. He thought Alex might’ve caught on by then that it was something with Damon.  
“You and Damon, Alex. In my dream. Think”  
Alex’s eyes widened and he looked at Graham, shocked.  
“WE WERE FUCKING?!”  
“What? NO ALEX. Jesus Christ, you were not fucking.”  
“Oh…” Alex said, sounding a little disappointed which creeped Graham out a bit. “What were we doing then? I’m guessing we were naked.”  
“BLOODY HELL ALEX, NEITHER OF YOU WERE NAKED.”  
“Not even semi?”  
“NO.”  
Alex frowned. “Then why was the dream freaking you out?”  
“You were…you were kissing. It was disturbing for me, okay?”  
Alex nodded. “Well, Damon would look weird kissing me, I guess.”  
“Hey, who ever said Damon kissed you? And what? I thought it was disturbing because it was you two, not because he looked weird.”  
“I kissed Damon? Graham! I’m not gay!”  
Graham sighed again. He wasn’t accusing Alex of being gay, so why was he offended by it? “I know, Alex. I can’t control my dreams, can I?”  
Alex didn’t listen. “If anyone’s gay, it’s him. You’ve probably got it wrong and he kissed me. Anyway, he was looking at my cock when I was peeing. Well, I wasn’t actually peeing but-“  
“Alex, what the FUCK are you on about?”  
Alex stopped talking and laughed. “Sorry. I’m going off on one, aren’t I? Still, I’m not gay.”  
“I knoooow Alex. Don’t worry.” Graham reassured.  
Graham could see the school in the distance. If Damon and Alex started talking again, he didn’t know what he’d do. He couldn’t get the image of them two kissing out of his head, and if he thought of it when they were together, it’d make things so much worse for him.  
Just pretend everything’s okay, and they’ll believe it.


	9. Give Me An Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another kinda sad chapter, sorry...the gramon will come, I promise!

It was lunchtime. Graham hadn’t seen Damon the whole day so far, which for him was fortunate.  
Graham and Alex were sat outside in the playground, while a few other students played football on the AstroTurf nearby. It was calm outside since not a lot of other students were there, probably because it was cold or there was hardly anything to do.  
Alex would normally take Graham outside and sit him down to talk about something serious. In a way, Graham liked it that his friend was trying to separate him from everyone else while they talked, but it was also freezing outside and that made Graham feel a lot less comfortable when talking to Alex about things. Either way, he had no choice. He couldn’t exactly run away from his best friend, and if he did, then it’d have to be for a bloody good reason.  
“Graham?” Alex said in a questioning tone, pushing his fringe (or was it his fringe? It was hard to tell with Alex…did he even have a proper parting?) to the side so Graham could see his brown eyes.  
“Yeah?”  
“Can I ask you a question?”   
Graham sighed. He hated that question – not only did it make it tense for the person being asked the question because they might regret saying ‘yes’, but also what kind of question is it? Should you really have to ask permission of someone to ask him or her a question? Besides, whoever said you’d have to answer once the other had asked the question?  
“Yeah, but doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” Graham said.  
“What happened between you and Damon? It’s clear something has, because when he arrived at school for the first time, you ran off, and when I was with him he kept on asking me about you. It’s annoying, Graham, to be in the middle of it, and I think I should be able to know what went on, considering I’m your best friend and all.”  
Graham picked up on the words ‘he kept on asking me about you’ and was instantly interested.  
“What did he want to know about me?”  
Alex made a slight annoyed expression at his friend. “I’m asking the questions. I can tell you if you answer mine.”  
Graham exhaled slowly. “Alex, it’s not something that can be explained easily. I doubt you’ll believe me if I tell you, anyway.”  
Alex, fairly angry, kicked Graham’s shin from under the table.  
“OW! What the bloody hell was that for, Alex?!” Graham yelped.  
“Can’t you just answer my question? Also, have a little faith in me; who says I won’t believe you?”  
Graham held onto his leg and muttered something about it hurting. “Fine. Just don’t kick me again.”  
Alex nodded and stared at Graham, waiting for him to carry on.  
At first when Graham started to explain to Alex, Alex was trying to be as accepting as possible, and went along with the story.   
He then began to start thinking that maybe Graham had been crazy once and Damon just told him stories that he did believed in. Once Graham had finished, Alex asked, “Um, yeah but Graham, do you think that it might not have been real? That you might have been a bit…well, mental?”  
Graham stared back at Alex, and he felt his eyes sting. Why the fuck would he ask that? Of course he’d thought of that – he thought of it as soon as he started going to therapy about it, and whatever happened to ‘who says I won’t believe you?’ Great. Just great, because now Alex also thinks that Graham was once a nutter. That wasn’t the only thing that annoyed Graham; Damon came out fine from all of this. He didn’t have to go to therapy or was thought crazy to even Alex. Yeah, Damon didn’t make the mistake of telling anyone, but he started it all. Also, how would Graham magically remember times that he visited Neverland if he never did? He didn’t think it would be possible for your brain to create memories for you, even if you did believe in something a great deal.  
Graham’s eyes then began watering. Even his best friend wouldn’t believe him, it was ridiculous. He knew that all of it must’ve sounded stupid, but Graham would try to believe Alex, so why couldn’t Alex do the same.  
“Oh…I…don’t cry Graham, please.”   
Alex leant forward, trying to ruffle Graham’s hair, but Graham dodged his hand.  
“Do you really think pleading me not to cry is gonna help? Fuck.” Graham whimpered. “What? So you think I’m mental too? Go ahead and say you do. Not like a nut-case like me would understand what you were saying, anyway.”  
Alex frowned. “I don’t think that at all, Graham. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to come out like that!”  
Just then, Graham saw a boy in the distance walking towards them both. His vision was blurred from the tears, so he rubbed at his eyes and looked back up.  
It was Damon. Of all the people that could’ve come over at that moment in time, Damon had to.  
“Oh, shit…” Graham said under his breath.  
“What?” Alex asked, then turned and looked around. “Oh…”  
“Alright Alex?” Damon shouted, turning his walk into a slow jog as he neared them.  
‘Don’t think about the weird dream, God.’  
Graham looked away at the boys playing football. He decided he’d ignore Damon until he left, and hoped that Damon wouldn’t see he was crying – if he did, he’d blame it on the harsh wind or something like that.  
“Yeah. You?”  
That pissed Graham off. Not only was he talking to Damon, but also he was doing so like everything was okay. As they talked for a little while, Graham thought Alex might try to get Damon to leave to help the situation, but he did nothing of the sort.   
“Hi Graham!” Damon called cheerily.  
Graham ignored him.   
There was a brief moment of silence, until Damon said “Okaaaay then. I’m great, thanks for asking.”  
Right - Graham had had it. Alex and Damon had pushed him over the edge at that point. Damon had some cheek saying that – how could he expect Graham to want to talk to him after all of these years, and also be happy?  
Graham turned to look at the two of them.  
“Oh, alright then Damon – how are you? Because I’ve been dying to find out; but I’m sure you’ve probably already realised this after I’ve tried to avoid you. Me? You know, I’m feeling fine. Everything’s marvellous now you’ve come back to possibly ruin my life for another number of years! The therapy? Yep, that was fun! Thanks for that! Because I really wanted someone telling me how I was wrong and all of these memories with you weren’t true. Now, I’m guessing you’ve just expected to come along and talk to me like nothing’s the bother. Well, you can talk to Alex all you bloody want, I don’t care, but leave me the fuck alone, alright?”  
And with that, Graham was gone.  
Graham planned on staying away from the both of them the rest of that day…or week. Maybe even month if they were going to make him feel this way. He hoped Damon got the message, and would stay away from him. Okay, so he did feel a little bad for just leaving Alex as well, but he figured Alex and Damon had each other, and his dream had persuaded him a little that Alex didn’t care about him that much anyway, so he thought Alex would be fine without him. Graham wanted to be alone because that way no one could hurt him.


	10. Okay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short, my brain has been slightly dead .__.

It was the next morning. Graham didn’t want to go to school - well, he never did, but that morning was a whole lot worse for him. He had to face school without Alex and, believe it or not, Alex did make school easier for Graham.  
In the morning, Graham walked into school and already Damon was staring at him. It unnerved him, to put it lightly.  
He was with Alex and Dave, and as he walked past, they all turned their heads and stared too.  
Alex looked at him with apologetic eyes, but Graham still ignored him. He wasn’t going to make the effort to forgive him; he expected Alex to do something about it. It might sound harsh, and although Graham had thrown himself into the situation, he was the only one with no friends.  
To be honest, Graham wondered why Damon didn’t hang around with people in his year - so he’d already made friends with people in Graham’s year, but a part from that, he saw no reason. Maybe he was trying to get to Graham…nah, not that evil.  
Graham survived a few lessons. He was lucky that Damon wasn’t in his year, because if he were he’d probably throw paper-balls at his head, or some other rubbish form of torment.  
At break Graham sat down alone.   
It was weird for him, and as soon as he sat down, a big whack of paranoia kicked in and made him feel as if everyone was staring at him.  
He didn’t sit there for long. He saw Damon staring at him, again, so stood up and left. If Damon had a problem, he could say something, not just stare at him darkly, like he would actually hurt him or something.  
Damon looked scary, granted, but Graham didn’t believe that Damon would even go as far as maybe flicking him.   
Graham was wrong. On multiple accounts that day, Damon shoved past Graham. It didn’t bother him much – all it was was Damon’s shoulder colliding against his. It also didn’t hurt him, so to him, it didn’t matter.  
What hurt, was the mental pain. Okay, so it had only been half a day without Alex, but it was slightly terrifying for Graham to be alone. He’d chosen to be alone before, or rather attempted at it, but Alex would still be there to go back on, and it was weird that now on he wasn’t.  
Maybe Graham shouldn’t have expected so much of him; he was only human afterall, but he never thought Alex would be able to just walk off the next day acting like they didn’t even know each other.  
Lessons seemed to fly by, and by this point it was lunchtime. Graham decided he wasn’t going to eat lunch because he felt uncomfortable eating while eyes were on him.  
Instead, he sat down and read. He’d borrowed a book from the library; something about goblins and wizards and nothing in it really interested him, but it was something to occupy himself with in the mean time.  
He thought that Damon might give up at staring at him because it wouldn’t work since Graham wouldn’t look back as he was reading, but he didn’t.   
Graham saw a boy strut by in his peripheral vision; quite obviously, it was Damon.  
He knocked Graham’s elbow with his hip as he walked past. “Oh, sorry Graham!” Damon shouted down at him and smiled, fakely.  
Graham didn’t even look up at him. All he did was move his elbows so that they were underneath the table; thus Damon couldn’t knock him.  
Damon threw something in the bin behind Graham triumphantly, and was going to make his way back to sit with Alex and Dave, however he didn’t  
He sat opposite Graham.  
Graham continued to ignore him. He was sure all Damon would do was tease him.  
“Oi, arsehole.” Damon said.  
Graham didn’t reply.  
“Graham, pleeeeeeeeease.”  
Graham couldn’t work out in what kind of tone he was saying it in, nor the emotion he showed on his face as he couldn’t see it, but he guessed it was a mocking one and didn’t reply.  
He sounded ridiculously childish, but still fairly flat which was strange.  
“Take your book away from your face!” He ordered, as he tried to hit it away.  
“No. Leave me alone you twat.” Graham finally answered with, keeping the book in front of his face.  
“Can’t we just talk? Jesus…”  
Graham sighed. “NO. You won’t talk to me, anyway, you’ll just try to annoy me, so fuck off.”  
After a moment of over-analysing how Graham had phrased his sentence, Damon replied.  
“Aw.”   
Graham placed his book down on the table and stared at Damon judgingly.   
“What?”  
Damon smirked, raising his eyebrows. “You think that I’m not annoying when I talk!”  
“Don’t be stupid, you know that’s not what I meant…Damon, I don’t know what your fucking problem is but whether you’re trying to piss me off or not I just want to be by myself, alright?”  
Damon’s face fell. He didn’t look sad, nor happy, just confused. “Don’t lie to me, you bastard. You’re hating being alone, admit it.”  
“Why would you fucking care if I lied to you? Don’t act like you actually give a shit about me, or like you ever did.”  
Damon’s face became slightly distorted, as he got angry. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve turned into such a cunt! Fine, maybe I don’t care about you anymore, but I did back then, so don’t fucking tell me I don’t!”  
Graham faked a laugh, and stood up.  
“Okay.” He finished with coldly, leaving to spend the rest of lunch in the library.


	11. You're not that special, mate.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahh, long-ish chapter yay ◕ ◡ ◕
> 
> not really any Alex in this one, I'm afraid.

There were a few things about books that Graham liked, and it wasn’t solely the content.  
Reading wasn’t a great hobby of his, but he loved everything about the look of books. Whether it was the binding, or the illustrations on the cover, the blurb on the back – he just liked them. He loved it when there were piles and piles of them on shelves; never would he believe that the owner of all of the books would have read each one, or enjoyed all of them, but he was sure that somewhere amongst all of them, there would at least be one thing an individual would like about them, even if it was just a cover of one perhaps.  
He felt, however, that this case stood for most things, or people for that matter, but books was quite a good example.  
Graham would try to find the good in everyone, but he found it hard, as he was quite the misanthropist. If a person said one thing that he didn’t really like the sound of, he’d probably remember that every time he pictured them and gradually be put off by them. It didn’t bother him a lot though, because not a lot of people really liked him that much.  
People would think he was ‘alright’, but no one ever admired him, or loved him. He wasn’t even sure if he’d want someone to…he definitely knew that he’d feel uncomfortable with it, considering no one has really felt that way before so he wasn’t used to it.  
Graham wasn’t keen on being introduced to things he wasn’t used to either…in fact he wasn’t keen on a lot, but that was just Graham.  
All of lunch, he poked around at different books in the library, acting as if his presence there had a purpose. The head of the library had noticed he had been in there more often, but instead of calling him up on it, just left him to it. She was a considerate lady, probably in her 50’s, though it was hard to tell. She liked Graham, and thought he was probably having problems with his friends, so let him silently trudge around, reading blurbs of books that, quite frankly, he wasn’t interested in one bit.  
Graham didn’t noticed her act of kindness, as most wouldn’t, but did find it strange no one had tried to kick him out before for actually not doing anything.  
Still, he wasn’t marching about and shouting in there like Damon might, causing trouble, so his company wasn’t really any gain or loss.  
If Graham had been thrown out, he would’ve just waited outside of lesson, which wasn’t any more interesting; in fact, less.  
Lesson was boring enough, but waiting for it to come along like you actually enjoyed it was painful.   
Not only that, but he didn’t want to turn out like one of those stereotypical ‘nerds’ who’d have to be in lesson on time and at the front of the line with the correct uniform and blah blah blah. Graham wasn’t that type of boy. He hated school. He hated the students and the teachers and the way the teachers taught the students and the way the students treated the teachers and what the teachers expected from the students and the grades the teachers gave the students and the idle gossip that went around from student to student and the moving from lesson to lesson trying to get past every individual student and…to put it short, it tired him out.  
The only student he could bare was Alex, but he was gone and he didn’t know how long he’d remain ‘gone’, so he’d have to cope with it.  
Dave…well, he could bare with Dave too, but Dave was different. It was hard for even Graham, who thought everything through to the core, to work out. He didn’t feel as safe around Dave because he couldn’t work him out; Dave seemed to be friends with whoever was there, and it bothered Graham, because he hadn’t known anyone who could ever just ‘go with the flow’ so easily. Most people would like one person more than the other, and it was easy to tell, but with Dave…Dave just liked people.  
Dave was nice, though. He definitely wasn’t fake, so maybe he was just too lazy to make decisions for himself.  
The last few lessons of the day for Graham dragged on by, but soon enough he was back in bed, sleeping. Of course, he wasn’t aware he was sleeping, but he was.  
When he woke up the next morning, he was happy it was a Thursday, and to him this was strange.  
He’d never been happy on a Thursday before – Thursday’s were just that day that came before Friday and seemed pointless. Maybe all of the negative thinking from the day before resulted in a rush of happiness in the morning.  
It helped him out of bed, anyway, but once he was back in school, the happiness just vanished.  
Well, vanished wouldn’t be the right phrase – more ‘knocked out of place’ and soon as he saw Damon’s dumb face, maybe.  
That day was just stupid to Graham, as was Damon.  
Damon followed him, called his name repeatedly, talked about him – literally – behind his back, knocked him, shoved him, hit him – he was basically seeing how far he could push Graham before he’d react. Alex had prompted Damon not to do this, as he still cared for Graham, but Graham didn’t know that of course.  
Damon wanted a reaction from him, that was it, and Graham knew it.  
Graham didn’t want Damon, though, he wanted Alex to come chasing after him like he always used to...they both seemed to take on the roles that Graham had wanted the other to take.  
When Graham was walking home, he thought he’d finally be in peace.  
Well, Graham thought a lot of things, but it didn’t mean to say that they were all right.  
Dave walked Graham’s way and, unfortunately for Graham, Damon was going to Dave’s house that evening – however, Graham didn’t know this at the time.  
“GRAHAM.” Damon yelled.  
Graham quickened his pace.  
Was he being harassed? Could he potentially put Damon into jail for this? He hoped so.  
“Graaaaaaahaaaaam!” Damon sang.  
Graham heard Dave and Damon laugh a little when Graham tripped over a tile on the path. It scared the living daylights out of him, and he was honestly annoyed as fuck at the fact that they were laughing at him. Well, Damon wasn’t the problem; it was Dave. He thought Dave wasn’t a bastard.  
Damon started whistling and clicking his fingers. It was some stupid pop song that made Graham feel sick.   
“Ba doo ba dooo.” He sang.  
Graham heard a muffled ‘shut up, Damon’ from Dave who was giggling at him.  
“Oi, Graham, why won’t you talk to me?” He called.  
If he said or did one more thing Graham was gonna punch him…okay, he wouldn’t, but if he could do so without being expelled or told off or whatever then he would.  
“TOSSER! ANSWER ME!”  
Graham stopped walking. He clenched his fists and turned around, walking quickly up to Damon who was lolloping along casually and grinning smugly.   
“You’re such a bloody twat - I told you to leave me alone! I know you’re pretty stupid, but I thought you’d at least understand that!” Graham spat in Damon’s face.  
Damon, still smiling, replied with “Alright Gra, don’t get your knickers in a twist.”  
Dave chuckled quietly, but instantly attempted at suppressing his laughter by putting his hand over his mouth.  
Graham glared at them both and bit the inside of his cheek. “Why are you walking my way anyway? You don’t live near me!”  
“Do you think I’d care that much about you to follow you home? You’re not that special, mate.” Damon laughed. “I’m going to Dave’s house, if you’re that bothered about knowing.”   
Graham was partly shocked that Dave had chosen to invite Damon around; yes, Damon and Dave had been hanging around with each other for the past few days, but everyone knew that Damon was annoying and loud, it was just fact, really.  
Dave was neither of those things – still, opposites attract, or so they say.   
Graham wasn’t sure how he once got along with Damon actually; they’d always been opposites…but back then they were children, and most children got along well with each other…unless they were scratching each other’s faces off or something.  
Graham felt a little stupid for assuming that Damon had just been following him home and was embarrassed by the fact he brought it up, but Damon did care about him, he knew it, so it was a valid point, really.   
Graham and Damon argued for so long, that Dave got bored and decided to walk home, thinking that if Damon did still want to go to his house afterwards, he’d make his way there.  
Damon didn’t notice that Dave had even left, he was just having fun annoying Graham.  
Well, he found it fun up to the point that Graham brought their memories, and then his parents’ into the situation…  
“YOU RUINED MY LIFE.” Graham roared; he didn’t even care if the whole street heard; he had a good reason to be shouting at Damon. “YOU SENT ME TO THERAPY, YOU ARSEHOLE.”  
“You can’t blame me! I showed you the place, but you didn’t have to go off to tell your parents, did you? I didn’t because I was smart! Anyway, it was your parents that sent you to therapy Graham, NOT me!”  
“Yeah? Well at least my parents CARE about me!”  
Damon stopped constantly moving about as he was before, and just stared at Graham right in the eyes.  
“…What did you say?” he hissed.  
Damon slowly tilted his head and licked his lips.   
Graham didn’t reply. He was too scared to because of the way Damon had gone from a rage to being quiet in such suddenness.  
Damon looked Graham up and down from head to toe and back up again, his eyes narrowing.  
Then, out of nowhere, he grabbed onto Graham’s blazer collar and thrust him against the brick wall behind him with so much force that Graham’s head made a loud smacking sound.  
Damon leapt forward so his face was inches away from Graham’s, his hand held so tightly around Graham’s collar. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” he repeated.  
“I…I don’t know-I…Damon I’m sorry!” Graham quivered, his vision becoming blurry due to tears welling in his eyes. His head bloody hurt, y’know. Had nothing to do with the fact that Damon was shouting in his face whatsoever.  
“DON’T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS LIKE THAT AGAIN, ALRIGHT?”  
…And so it was agreed Graham ‘wouldn’t ever talk about Damon’s parents like that again’. He probably wouldn’t even bring up his parents again if Damon was going to be like that.  
As soon as Damon loosened his grip of Graham and stood back, Graham rubbed his scalp to check his head wasn’t bleeding. Fortunately, for the both of them, it wasn’t.  
He sorted his clothes of so they weren’t as messy, and sat down on the bench directly next to the both of them.  
Damon sat down next to him, possibly tired from holding Graham up against the wall.  
He took a deep breath out, and spoke again, obviously much more calmly than he had before.  
“Look, can we just start out again?” Damon panted.


	12. Just acquaintances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woo for friendship! ...or acquaintanceship? 
> 
> I hope it's okay and a good length, but yeah enjoy! c:

Graham looked back at Damon’s face. “What? What do you mean, exactly?”  
Damon gave Graham an aggravated look. “You know what I mean.”  
“Be friends again? I’m guessing that’s it. It’s not that bloody simple, you know.” Graham claimed, shifting further away from Damon down the bench and crossing his arms.  
“Why the hell not? I don’t see any problem, unless you’ve got a really bad grudge against me which is ridiculous after so long.” Damon expressed, crossing his legs.  
“It’s not ridiculous at all! You screwed my life up and then didn’t even bother trying to contact me.”  
“Well I bloody am now so stop moping about it and get over it. Anyway, I only found out you went to therapy after a couple of years later and I thought you wouldn’t wanna see me then – not only that, but your parents ‘insisted’ I didn’t go near you for your sake, or whatever. Bad influence I s’pose.” Damon guessed.  
Graham sat forward and thought for a moment, holding his face in his hands.  
He looked away from Damon, and mumbled, “Why do you even want to be friends with me, Damon? You’re cool and I’m just weird, so I don’t get why you’re even the slightest bit interested in me.”  
Damon pondered. Why was he so interested in Graham? There was something about him…maybe it was because he seemed so quiet and remote that Damon wanted to find out more about him, or maybe it was because he missed the friendship they once had. Either way, he just was.  
In the end, he finally answered with “I dunno. Does it matter?”  
Graham sighed. “Well yeah…it kinda does, Damon.”  
“I don’t think it bloomin’ should – why can’t we just be friends and skip the whole questioning part like ‘why am I interested in you’ or ‘how did we ever get along’ etcetera…”  
“Cause I care about that stuff!”  
“You never used to.” Damon remarked.  
“I was seven back then, it was different.” Graham grumbled.  
“What, now your balls have dropped and you’ve got the beginnings of a moustache you have to think about things a great deal more? Join me in the land of not caring!” Damon said sarcastically, grinning like a moron.  
Graham nearly laughed, but stopped himself.  
“You’re a twat, do you know that?”  
“And you’re smirking, Mr Coxon – did I amuse you?” Damon asked, pushing Graham by his shoulder a tad.  
Graham flinched and scratched his head in disturbance; he hadn’t expected Damon to touch him all of a sudden.  
“Uh, yeah…kinda. But, Damon, we can’t just get over this shit like it never happened…well, you might be able to, but it’s not easy for me.” Graham replied in a serious tone.  
Damon looked at Graham with empathetic eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for all of it. I just don’t want it to have to stay this way and stuff, cause it’s like easier for us both, yeah? You don’t have to try and forget about it or anything, but can we at least try to get along with each other?”  
Graham turned his head and looked at Damon with his pleading, shiny eyes and blonde messy hair.  
Should he just say yes? What harm would it do him, exactly? Well, it could do some harm to be fair, but making any decision could end up being a wrong one, sometimes you just had to go for it.  
He finally nodded, and boy did Damon look chuffed.  
He almost hugged him, but he realised that Graham wasn’t great with physical interaction, so he just smiled.  
“Thanks! So, we’re friends, yeah?”  
Graham squinted and tilted his head from side to side a little in an uncertain manner.  
“Maybe we will be. At the moment, just acquaintances.” He announced.  
“Cool! See ya tomorrow!” Damon called behind him, as he quickly got up and walked off to Dave’s.  
Graham wasn’t sure as to what he had just agreed to – Damon seemed too happy and it was like they were probably going to end up friends anyway whether he liked it or not, but at least he could see Alex again this way.  
He was slightly happy that he wouldn’t have to avoid Damon’s evil stares anymore, but in the evening he did start fretting about how the next day would be and began worrying that maybe he shouldn’t have given in so easily.  
He just said to ‘get over himself’, and soon enough fell asleep.


	13. Boyish-Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ehhh idk I just wanted to add another chapter so that I wouldn't leave the fic unupdated for aaages but it may be a little boring/short, I'm really sorry ;-;
> 
> hayhayhay it's my birthday tomorrow as well...js. c;

Graham woke up with a start as his alarm beeped repeatedly at him.  
He flopped out of bed and changed into his uniform hurriedly, noticing he was already late.  
Running out of the door, he hadn’t had time to eat so just figured he’d wait until lunch.  
As he staggered into school (because he was tired from walking so quickly), he saw Damon, Alex and Dave stood around in a circle just talking…well, more of a triangle, really.  
He felt truly nervous about going over to talk to them, as it was weird not speaking to Alex for two days on the trot and rarely talking to Dave. He guessed that Damon would just talk for him though.  
Damon was normally loud, but when he was just stood there with Alex and Dave, he seemed rather quiet…  
Graham walked over to them, rubbing his head as he was flushed from his effort to get to school on time. Damon soon enough spotted him, and his face almost seemed to radiate out of happiness, he was that excited to see him.  
“Gra!” he called.   
Alex looked away sheepishly, fixing his hair. Dave just smiled.  
Damon held out his hands in a way that you might if you were cheering on a football team; Damon was quite the stereotypical ‘lad’ and Graham found it amusing, however also annoying in a sense.  
Graham smiled. “Alright, Damon?”  
Damon gave Graham a pat on the back. “Yeah, not bad. You?”  
Graham hummed a little tune that was recognised as a ‘yes’. He was guessed he was okay, there wasn’t really anything wrong, was there?

By lunch Dave had buggered off with some other guys, but neither Damon nor Alex seemed phased by it at all – in fact, everything with Alex was back to normal and Damon? Well, he was being plain weird; he kept on asking Graham questions about himself, seeming super interested and listened attentively to every answer he gave. He also gave him a great amount of attention and Graham wasn’t sure if Damon was just being extra nice to him now, or whether Damon was in fact being normal to the both of them and he was just being the paranoid being that he usually was.  
However, Alex brought it up at lunch and started teasing Damon. He asked things along the lines of ‘is Gwaham your favourite now, Damo?’ and ruffled his hair. Damon just told him to ‘piss off’ and whacked his hands away.  
Damon soon after tried to convince the both of them that he was, in fact, a man. Oh yes, Damon Albarn, so very masculine.  
Well, Damon was quite boyish, but he would turn from being so aggressive and ‘hard’ to a sweet little thing that wouldn’t leave Graham alone.  
“Prove it.” Said Alex, gnawing on a chunk of cheese.  
“That I’m a man?” Damon asked.  
“Yeah. I WANT EVIDENCE.”  
“…Alright then.” Damon replied.  
He then smirked, and began unzipping his trousers.  
“WOAH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MATE?!” Alex wailed.  
Graham made a bit of a disturbed squeak but words didn’t exactly come out.  
“Calm down, I’m joking!” Damon laughed, but no one else really found it funny. He zipped his trousers back up. “How the hell am I meant to prove it?”  
Alex shrugged.  
Damon soon went back to asking Graham question after question and stared at him with this big smile on his face which honestly weirded Graham out to the highest degree.  
Damon began to annoy Graham, and Graham couldn’t help but just shout at him.  
“Uh, Damon will you please shut up! I just wanna eat for God’s sake…” Graham moaned.  
Damon went silent.  
Both Alex and Graham looked up at Damon for a reaction.  
And then what they weren’t expecting happened; Damon started to cry.


	14. Very manly of you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon's messed up but that's how I like my characters okay? c;

At first he was just snivelling a little, but then he began to full on sob.  
“Um…Damon, you okay?” Graham asked.  
“WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT.” Damon yelled back.  
“What? Why?”   
Damon looked back up at Graham with almost fire in his eyes, and slamming his fist down onto the table in front of him, he screeched “I GET EMOTIONAL SOMETIMES, ALRIGHT? YOU TELLING ME TO SHUT UP ISN’T EXACTLY KIND.”  
Graham tried to take Damon’s feelings as seriously as possible, but as soon as he spotted Alex laughing silently to himself, he couldn’t help but mutter “…Very manly of you.”  
Alex was about to burst out in laughter, but Damon’s sudden reaction surprised him so much he couldn’t.  
“WELL FUCK YOU THEN, GRAHAM.” Damon shouted; so loudly, in fact, that probably the whole hall could hear him.  
He grabbed Dave by the arm as he stormed off and they both weren’t seen until lunch the next day, when Damon sat opposite Alex. Dave sat down too, but didn’t say anything; it didn’t seem like Dave even knew what Damon was doing.  
Alex sat there, looking at Damon with questioning eyes. “What?” he finally blurted out.  
“Who don’t you like?” Damon asked intensely, his eyes flicking around and back to Alex’s face. He seemed kind of jerky, like he was bracing himself for something.  
Alex shrugged; he was pretty neutral with most people.  
Damon turned to Graham. “You?”  
Graham looked at him for a while, wondering what the hell he was asking this for, then replied with “Noel.”  
“Alright then!” Damon said, standing up and walking away.  
Both Graham and Alex went silent. Dave didn’t really go silent as such, as he was already silent, but he looked just as worried as Graham and Alex did.  
“What the fuck’s he doing, Dave?” Alex inquired, peering over at Damon walking away.  
“I have no idea. He just told me he wanted to talk to you guys about ‘something important’.” He answered, using his fingers to make apostrophes.  
Alex saw Damon near Noel.  
“Oh, please don’t say he’s gonna talk shit about you…” Alex muttered mostly to Graham.  
Graham furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he saw Damon get extremely close to Noel’s face.  
It didn’t seem romantic or anything, fiercer and kind of wild.  
Just then, he grabbed Noel by the blazer collar and slammed him down onto the table behind him.  
Noel panicked and attempted at kicking him in the stomach, but Damon just dodged his kicks and screamed something indescribable in his face…they were words, but his very strong (and possibly affected) Essex accent made it hard to understand.  
Teachers began rushing over, as students started cheering Damon on. Graham, Dave and Alex’s eyes were glued on the scene, but none of them had moved an inch.  
They were just so shocked; this was something a bully would do, or someone who had built up so much resent for someone; Damon seemed to think Noel was alright, even if Graham didn’t like him, what difference would that make?  
“Fuck, Graham…you’ve really screwed things up, haven’t you?” Alex mumbled, his eyes still on Damon thrusting Noel onto the table, then holding him close up to his face as he yelled at him. He noticed Liam just passing and smirking, too.  
“I…” Graham turned to look at Alex, realising what he’d said. “Eh, fuck you! It’s not my bloody fault Albarn’s doing this, is it?!”   
“Well, you did kinda say you didn’t like Noel.” Dave added quietly.  
“So? It’s not like I knew he’d start doing that! God, blame him, not me!”  
The lack of support from his friends pissed Graham off; how was this in any way his fault?  
“Yeah, sorry…” Dave said, however Alex didn’t let it go.  
“Graham, you know he probably did that to prove he’s manly. Oh my God, that’s it isn’t it! It’s because you laughed at him and didn’t believe him!” Alex presumed, still not making eye contact with his friend.  
“Alex! Stop saying it like I told him to do it! Jesus Christ…”  
Graham turned back around and watched as teachers dragged Damon away. All Damon did was look over at Graham and wink.   
Anyone in their right mind would’ve figured out that by that point, Damon Albarn was clearly a nutcase.


	15. Maybe he's got a few problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> really sorry about post-poning this for so long :c I just got caught up with school and stuff...you probably know how it is. I hope you enjoy it!!

“Expelled?! Nah, he can’t be…that’d be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?”  
“I dunno…it’s just what I’ve ‘eard.”  
“Hmm.” Graham hummed. He was talking on the phone to Alex.  
Alex would always call Graham if there was any ‘gossip’ or simply if he was bored, thus meaning he called Graham a lot.  
It was a nice reminder to Graham he had a friend, though.  
“We’ve never had a proper fight like this before…Ahh, it’s immense!” Alex cheered.  
“I wouldn’t exactly call it a fight…More of an attack.” Graham giggled.  
“We can’t laugh, Graham, I bet Noel’s really hurt.” Alex replied trying not to laugh himself.  
“It was just so uncalled for.”  
“Yeah…I bet Noel didn’t see it coming…”  
“Did you see his face?” Graham asked.  
By now they were both in hysterics. It shouldn’t have been funny, but it just was. Noel’s face was pretty classic after all.  
After a drawn-out sigh from Graham, Alex said, “I hope Damon isn’t being expelled, though. I mean we haven’t even been with him for long. If he’s that easy to set off no wonder he got in trouble in that other school. He didn’t even mind Noel though; that’s what I don’t get. Even if all my friends were trying to force me to punch a kid, I still wouldn’t do it.”   
“Yeah…I guess he’s just a little bit mad, eh?” Graham reasoned.  
“Me and you are mad, it doesn’t mean we beat random people up.”  
“Well, a different kind of mad then.”   
Alex paused. “…Graham, why are you trying to back-up Damon’s stupidity?”  
“I’m not. I’m just giving him a chance, y’know. Maybe he’s got a few problems.”  
Alex sighed. “He’s given you more problems than he has himself, I believe.”  
“What are you on about, Alex?” Graham asked, Alex almost feeling him frowning down the phone.  
There was a moment of silence. “You…you care about him, don’t you?” Alex questioned.  
Graham’s immediate answer would be ‘no’, but after thinking about it, he came to the conclusion he really didn’t know.  
He hung up on Alex and thought to himself for a while.  
Yes, of course he cared for Damon in some ways; Damon had deeply affected his childhood and they did used to be friends, but he also fucked it up too and, most of all, he fucked Graham’s feelings up.  
Graham knew where Damon lived; he saw him walk home after school once and just remembered it.  
He figured he’d go to his house and talk to him about it all. He didn’t know why, but he just knew that this would sort things out for him.  
While walking to Damon’s, he knew that Damon’s family could not see him as they might get into contact with his parents and Graham wouldn’t want that. He’d, somehow, have to sneak in.  
He was pretty sure that Damon’s room was at the back of the house, and just hoped for the best.  
Walking around the side of the house and into the Albarn family’s garden, he saw Damon’s window. His room was lit up, so there was hope that Damon was in there.  
He hoisted himself a little of the way up the wall and held onto the drainpipe, crawling up it. Graham had never been any good at climbing until Damon had taught him how to climb trees when they were little and how to always make sure as you were climbing up something that you knew there was a safe route back down.  
His hands scraped over the rough wall and he gasped a little in pain; his hands were sore and dry already from the cold weather, so his hand was now bleeding from scratching it on that nasty, dirty white wall on the exterior of Damon’s house.  
He heard music playing faintly from Damon’s room, as he got further up the wall. It sounded like…girly pop music? Maybe it was his sister’s room after all…shit.  
He was so close that he didn’t want to get back down, so he carried on going up to see if it was Damon playing that awful song or not.  
Surely it couldn’t be him, but maybe Damon had a soft spot?   
Just then, Graham grabbed onto the windowsill above him and finally pulled himself up, peering over into the room.  
It was Damon who was listening to that music, but that wasn’t the fact about what he saw that surprised Graham the most.  
Graham looked around in Damon’s room, taking everything in.  
What he saw was weird…Damon was experimenting, perhaps?  
Damon was cross-legged on the floor, looking in the mirror and carefully applying lipstick, his mouth open slightly as he concentrated.  
Graham glanced over at something past Damon; a white dress that was hanging off his wardrobe door handle.  
“What the fuck…” Graham muttered, just loud enough for Damon to hear.  
Graham looked at Damon.  
Damon sat there, wide-eyed as he looked back at Graham.  
He looked so scared…and he had all reason to be! Graham wasn’t only trespassing, he was also intruding Damon’s privacy.  
Graham, shocked that Damon had caught him staring, let go of the windowsill.  
He felt himself dropping quickly and breathed in, music stopping from Damon’s room. What the fuck was happening…


	16. I Warned You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but here you go! It's probably bad because I didn't check through it a lot as I'm tired, but I hope you enjoy it! *u*

Graham's eyes slowly opened. Rubbing them, he sat up and realised his body felt sore all over. He then heard a voice; "I checked to see if you were injured, y'know. I wasn't being weird...Just you have marks on your stomach. I didn't touch them though, obviously." He heard them laugh nervously. "I'm not bent or anything."  
Everything flashed back into view, and he saw Damon sat in front of him; legs dangling off of the side off his...bed? Graham realised had been lying on Damon's bed, probably sleeping.   
"I...shit. What's the time Damon?" Graham asked, his eyes brightening suddenly and a sound of alarm in his voice. Graham tried to move quickly to check a clock nearby or get up, but noticed it hurt a lot and groaned, holding the side of his stomach.  
Damon laughed. "I warned you about your stomach."  
Graham sighed, frowning and moving slowly back to sitting down in a comfortable position. "Hardly. The time?"  
"Oh, yeah..." Damon stood up, then made a strange expression and sat back down. "Actually, no. I got things to ask you first, like why the fuck were you in my garden?"  
Graham's thoughts hadn't quite caught up with the current situation until Damon had said that, then he remembered that he wasn't even meant to be at Damon's house and his parents couldn't find out...and also wondering about what Damon had been doing beforehand.  
Graham looked up at Damon worriedly and shook his head. "Please...Damon please don't say you told your parents."  
Damon smirked and faced his friend. "Nah you muppet, course I bloody well haven't. "  
Graham sighed, relieved. "How did you get me up here then?"  
Damon sat there and bit his lip. "Well...Carried you, didn't I? Anyway, you still didn't answer my question."  
"Oh...Yeah, I just needed to talk to you." Graham murmured.  
Damon looked around the room. He still pushed on about it, even if he had noticed the sound of awkwardness in Graham’s voice. “Yeah? ‘Bout what?”  
Graham exhaled deeply and went to push his glasses up his nose out of habit when he noticed he wasn’t even wearing them. He looked around in a panic and asked, “Damon, where are my glasses? Did they break?”   
Damon clenched his fists and ground his teeth. “Stop trying to change the bloody subject, will you?”  
Graham turned to look at Damon and apologised. He hadn’t even noticed it seemed he was avoiding Damon’s questions; he was honestly just getting caught up in every other matter. “I just felt like we needed to chat…”  
Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes. “…Yeah, I got that. But what about?”   
“About…Us. Obviously not in a queer way.” Graham added, trying to lighten the mood but failing. “It’s just…I don’t exactly know how I feel about you.”  
Damon stared at him intensely. “What are you talking about?”  
Graham bit his thumbnail and tried at deep breathing. Something about Damon scared him. “I…Damon, it’d…uh, it’d really help if I had my glasses. So I could see you properly…”  
Damon whipped his head back around and stormed out of his room. He quickly got back and had a tight grip on Graham’s glasses right around the lenses, which irritated Graham; he didn’t want them to be all smudgy when he put them back on. Nevertheless, when Damon handed them to him, he didn’t complain.  
“Fine. You got your glasses. Now, please, Graham. You came to my house and tried to sneak around to just ‘chat’ about…’us’. Explain, will you? Because I’m confused.”  
Graham put his glasses back on, noticing the right lens was slightly scratched, which was obviously his fault, so he didn’t know why he was getting annoyed at Damon for it.   
“Well…I was on the phone with Alex. We were just talking about what you did in school, y’know. He kept on asking me questions about what I thought about the situation and you…and-“  
“What kind of questions about me?” Damon coerced, narrowing an eyebrow.  
Graham squinted as he tried to recall what Alex has actually said. He suspected the fall had left him slightly dazed and that was why he couldn’t think that well at the time.   
“I think he asked if I cared about you…I’m not sure. Anyway, it’s not important really. Just at the time I felt the need to talk to you.”   
Damon breathed out through his nose loudly. “What did you say, then?”  
“What? Damon, I think I need to be going, it’s really dark…My parents don’t even know I’m ou-“  
“Do you care, Graham? Tell me!” Damon demanded.  
Graham held his forehead and shut his eyes for a moment, trying to gather some peace that still resided inside of him.   
“You know what? What I want to know is why you were putting lipstick on when I looked in your room…And-and why there was a dress hanging off your wardrobe!” Graham pointed at the wardrobe as he talked.  
He saw Damon’s face grow madder and redden in a mix of embarrassment and anger. Maybe Graham had crossed the line, but he knew that he wanted to find out why Damon had been doing what he’d been doing, after all.


End file.
